Fated
by Khion
Summary: How do you follow your mind without breaking your own heart?


**_"I wished for nothing beyond her smile, and to walk with her thus, hand in hand, along a sun-warmed, flower-bordered path."  
-_**_**Andre Gide**_

* * *

Everything was like it was before. Me, staring on her eyes, looking at her like she's the only girl I'll ever love. Her eyes meeting mine as we glide across the ballroom. I held her hand tightly as we swayed to the music.

The only difference was, I'm the only one holding on, she let go. And I can only hold her hand but never her heart. I can only be a partner in her dance but never in her life. Like the music, my heart stopped. I watched her go to her husband. I can see joys on her eyes because of him.

And because of him, I can never be with her again.

I watch them dance in the center of the ballroom, their feet moved in a perfect pattern - a perfect fit. They're a match made in heaven. They're meant to change each other's life, they're each other's destiny. She's the one who changed everything that I am. She's my destiny but she will never be mine.

I sat in the table, focusing myself to the swishing sounds of the gowns. But I can't, I can hear her laughter that sounds like the bells in Christmas. I looked at their direction, she was blushing and the man was smiling.

I watch them slowly dancing as my heart slowly breaks.

I wish that it'll be quicker, faster. So that I don't have to feel this way. To feel the only reason of my existence is gone.

Long ago, we were happy as long as we're together and we have each other. Everyone approved of our relationship, they said that it was about time.

And I was planning to propose to her.

To marry her.

To make her my wife.

To make her mine, forever.

But happy endings are stories that are left unfinished. And now, I'm here to tell you how love stories really end.

I have to leave her, to hurt her, in order to protect her. To protect her from what I really am - an evil, cold blooded murder, son of Isabel Kabra.

A son of a Vesper.

The son of Vesper 2.

But every time that I leave her, I also leave my heart with her. Every time that I hurt her, I hurt myself more. Every time I look at her I fall in love with her more. And every time that I fell deeper into her, I tell my heart to stop beating for her.

But it can't. And it will never will.

I have to follow what the remaining Lucian in me is saying. I have to follow my mind that is forming strategies to make her happy...without me.

Though, am I selfless enough to make her happy whatever it takes? Am I brave enough to give her up?

Yes, I am.

I can do anything...No, not anything but everything to make her happy.

I can and I will.

This is what my mind is telling me, to give her up and tell her to let me go. And I did. I set that to order even though my feverish heart is opposing every plan my mind had.

_How do you follow your mind without breaking your own heart?_

My heart can't take it but the assurance that she'll be happy in the hands of another man is the only thing that keeps it beating. And the only thing that keeps my mind from falling apart. The only thing that keeps me together in her evening.

In her marriage.

I went to the balcony. The moon was full and bright. It was mocking me for not feeling complete and happy. The lake reflected the moon, I saw two swans swimming side by side. I looked at them with such distaste. I heard a few clacking of the heels, I didn't speak. After a few moments the voice speak up.

"Ian."

My mind starts racing, my heart starts beating faster. The sound of her voice saying my name is like listening to the most wonderful sound in the world.

"Amy."

I turned around. I saw her in her wedding dress before, but now, with the help of the moonlight, I saw it better.

The gown was adorned with green silk that harmonizes with her eyes. Diamonds were encrusted in her gown like the stars in the cky. I don't know if it was just me or the gown, but when she moves, she seems to sparkle and twinkle. It was beautiful.

But nothing and no one can be more beautiful than her.

"What are you doing here all alone, Ian?"

"I should be the one asking you that."

"I just need some fresh air especially with all the tensions in the room.

"Go back there. Don't make your...husband wait."

I turned myself to the view of the lake. And I heard her walk towards me and she reached for my hand. I held her hand and she held it tightly.

"It could've gone another way." She said.

"I know."

I could be her husband, the father of all her children. I could be the one she'll grow old with, the one she'll die with. I could be but I won't be.

"Maybe if the clue hunt didn't exist..." I started.

"And the rivalries, the war..."

"We could..."

She hugged me and I hugged her tighter. I can feel her tears soaking my coat but I didn't mind.

"Maybe in another life, all these things won't exist. Maybe we could happen, we could have a happy ending together." I whispered to her ear.

"And maybe the odds will be in our favor, the stars won't cross us." She said.

"If that happens, I will never let you go."

"Will it happen?"

"I sure do hope so." I said.

I heard Dan calling her phone.

"Our time is up." I murmured.

"Goodbye, Ian. I hope in this life, it'll be the last time we'll see each other. So that, this will be easier for both of us."

"This will be our last goodbye because in another life, I'll be there, I'll be waiting for you. I'll be beside you."

She looked at me and her eyes that once are full of glee are now full of tears, I don't blame her for crying. I closed the distance between us and kissed her. She responded and ran her hands to my hair while I pull her closer to me. This kiss wasn't as passionate as before but desperate. Then she lose hold of me, nodded, and walk the other path. How I wish we could walk that path together but not here, not now.

I hope that the fates have a good plan for me in the next life. Next life, I want to be the one who ends up with her in the end.

Maybe there will. Maybe, not.

But one thing's clear, I was fated to love her.

Although for now, I have to walk the opposite path, alone.


End file.
